In recent days, I’ve began to feel somewhat panicked. What if the polls are completely wrong and Obama loses? What if not only McCain wins, but, God forbid, he dies sometime during his presidency? Palin scares me worse than Dub-Ya did. I see her with a scary combination of Bush's intelligence and Cheney's drive. I fear living in a country where she is commander in chief, but I fear living outside of it even more.
It seems that so much depends on the outcome of this one election. I’ve cast my vote and knocked on doors, but those actions seemed so small compared to the magnitude of what we’re facing. And I have been working to put it in perspective. Jenny and I talked about how, win or lose, Obama has inspired so many people. And I do know that even if he wins, all of our problems will not magically disappear. And I also know that much worse things than John McCain becoming president have occurred in our nation’s history.
Although I knew these things rationally, I couldn’t really believe them in my heart. And this morning, I knew I needed to do something to get rid of the worry I was feeling.
And then I realized what part of the problem was. When I think of the change that I’m hoping for, it’s always in the future. Never something that could be achieved here and now. This isn’t a new idea to me, it’s something I’ve worked on in the past.
Part of what I hope for in my life, in the world, isn’t just about what we’ll do, but who we’ll be and how we’ll feel. It has to do with how one human looks at another. Do we do so with love and compassion or with fear and distrust? This is a crucial question. Maybe *the* crucial question.
And so I pulled my energy back toward myself, back to my thoughts, my feelings and my actions.
And then I felt that change in my heart that I was looking for. That our future does not hinge on one thing, no matter how wildly important it seems at the time. It’s the daily moments, hundreds, thousands… trillions of them, that create our world. Yes, much will change with the outcome of this election, but it isn’t everything. And it isn’t so much that we can’t continue to put things right day by day and breath by breath. Knowing this helped me to finally let go.
So today we will spend the day knitting and making tea and being the best people we know how to be. We will hold a vision of the world we want, the world we all deserve. We will drive people to the polls who need the ride and we will bring snacks to those standing in line to vote, whether they support my candidate or not. I will remember that I’ve been shown how to be a good person by one of the best. And that we are all in this together, however the chips may fall.