So, this is officially my 100th post. When I paged back through all my posts, I was shocked at how much I've written since starting this blog. (Though, I'm sure anyone who knows me is not at all surprised.)
Today, I'm going to add to the 8452 things about me with a theme... why I talk the way I do.
20- I over-explain most concepts to our kids (and I guess to adults, too). I am constantly asking, "Does that make sense?" and, "Do you have any questions?" This is because, as a child myself, I formed some strange opinions of the world when left to my own devices (see 19 thru 16). There is so much room for misinterpretation when one person communicates with another.
19- I used to think that trolls (you know, the fuzzy-haired, toy kind) lived in my Grandma's toilet. I thought this because she always brought them out when we took baths over there, but never at any other time. When I looked, I couldn't find where she kept them. She also had a very strict rule that you needed to keep the toilet lid closed. I assumed it was to keep them from escaping. I pictured their home to be some sort of vast, plumbing, tunnel system through which they could visit various bathrooms. I was terrified of using her toilet. Obviously.
18- I used to think that you needed to go to the doctor to get pregnant. My mom had explained that babies were made when sperm from a man got together with an egg from a woman, but she left out the mechanics of the transfer. I assumed that the doctor always needed to help.
17- I used to think that your heart moved around in your chest, sort of like the moon moving around the earth. I thought this because whenever the doctor listened to my chest, he listened in several different spots. And he would always tell me that he was listening to my heart. If a doctor didn't know where my heart was, it was most likely because it wasn't always in the same place.
16- Once when I was 3 or 4, I thought I was dying. Literally. I'd had regular stomachaches and the doctor told us that I had a very early ulcer. The thing is, our neighbor's husband had died of a bleeding ulcer. No one thought to tell me that what I had was very different. Needless to say, my stomachaches got much worse for awhile. I have no idea how long I believed this, but eventually (several months? Less than a year?) I realized that I wasn't going to die anytime soon. My mom felt horrible when I finally told her about it. This right here, is the main reason that it can take me an hour to answer the simplest of questions.
And, for clarifications sake (see, told you), I was less than 4 years old when I formulated all of these opinions.
And I no longer believe in any of them... except the trolls. :)
I'm with ya on the trolls, girl. I swear there were (and still are) tiny lions and tigers with really big teeth living in the closet of my childhood bedroom - oh, and sharks in the deep end of the pool where isn't shadowy. Still afraid to swim through that. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOMG!
ReplyDeleteYou totally rock, Wendy! What a beautifully complex mind you have!
I am the very same way about over-explaining... for the very same reason!
LOVE YOU!!!
The trolls and the moving heart are my favorite. So great.
ReplyDeleteMy parents always watched the national news and when something tragic happened in another country, my mom would say how lucky we were to live in the US. We made our first move when I was six. I cried a lot and my mom asked me about it. I told her I was scared to leave the US because of war. I thought Seattle was the US.
Also, regarding the lines on a highway: I thought yellow was preferable and white paint was only used when the yellow paint ran out. And, the double, solid line (yellow paint) was the best. Because there was a lot of paint. One dotted line, they were running out. A single dotted white line was bad bad news because they were really low on paint and it was dangerous.
Ahhh, such sweet little kid thoughts you've shared. Totally made me smile :) I had many fears as a child and never felt like they were taken seriously. If any of the kids express a worry or concern, I make sure to listen, comfort and reassure to their satisfaction. Amazing how "kid worries" can last a lifetime!
ReplyDeleteMY grandmother had a bathroom with aFROG theme. The toilet was painted to look like a frog, with the seat, etc, being the MOUTH. I was TERRIFIED. I wouldn't use that bathroom until I was 14 or 15 years old unless I was FORCED to!
ReplyDeleteI still don't like frogs very much.
Green Bean, about the sharks... yes, totally (and still as adult)!
ReplyDeleteAngeleen, Love You too!!!
Dig this Chick, that's brilliant about the paint on the highway.
Cami, I'm not sure my actual worries have lasted this long (except the sharks, see above), but the memory of how bad they were has. Powerful stuff.
Jennifer, that toilet sounds awful. I don't think I could use it as an adult. You were a brave 14 year old!
ROTFLOL! Just found your blog, but now I'm wondering if we're kindred spirits. (As a child I used to always close the toilet lid before flushing because I thought that a genie would come out otherwise (obviously a bad genie and not one that would grant wishes, lol), and I thought the wicked witch of the west lived in our basement and would come out when you turned off the light (the light switch for the basement was at the bottom of the stairs - so I'd always turn it off and race up)... But neither matches the fact that I thought the ushers at church beamed the offering money up to Jesus! - well they always told us we were giving our money to Jesus - and it had to get there somehow! and they always went back into this little room at the back of the sanctuary, so I figured thats where they sent the money up to heaven! (ok maybe I'm actually crazier than you!)
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